0600- Baby D. wakes up and starts calling. We play dead for at least 15 minutes.
0615- Parent A goes to bring Baby to bed, while parent B procrastinates waking up like hell
0630- D. poops and is taken out of the bed (especially if she had chicken the day before) and into the bath immediately
0630-
0700 Baby bathing and feeling happy like a duck. Mom starts considering botox. Dad still in bed – not a morning type.
0700-
0800 Playing and feeling happy and a little hungry. Mom prepares breakfast – Dad is sleepwalking his way to the coffee machine.
0830- Dad leaves for work and leaves Mom alone with It. It had a power sleep of 10 hours. It was just fed. It is powerful and ready to go non-stop for the next 3-4 hours. It bites, grasps, eats tiny stuff that is then unable to swallow, babbles, cries, shouts, smiles, giggles, laughs, hugs, kisses, climbs, jumps, dances, stands and then again and then again, looking very happy. Mom, at first is proud and happy, then just happy, then happy and a little tired, then just tired, eventually too tired for this crap and finally suicidal.
1130 It is beaten and goes to sleep transforming itself into the most angelic of all babies for an hour or an hour an a half if I have done some super nice deed. It’s during this time that Mom has to squeeze in EVERYTHING; the articles for the sites and the respective pictures, the voice-over customers and the studio time, the preparation for the classes, the prep for the theater rehearsal and, out two dogs and of course, those dishes from last night, the cooking and herself. No need to say those last two, rarely make it and, admittedly, more often than not Mom looks like a hungry zombie.
1300-
1400 Playing and feeling happy, along with probably pooping another two times and bathing, peeing 6-7 times and of course changing diaper.
1430 Dad comes, all beaten and tired from work, to take D. over as Mom leaves for work.
1500-
2000 Classes
2030 Back home to bathe D. and put her to sleep.
2130 Pretend we are awake and able to do staff.
2200 Sleep like animals with clothes on and without brushing our teeth
0100 Wake up, brush teeth, go to bed
0300 Change diaper
0500 Change diaper
0600 It’s next day. Yeah.
(Tip: People who lack a sense of time make better parents. Be like them!)
